Pre-travel Trauma?

I am so stressseddddd!!!!!! I need to vent!!!!!

I think the main thing that I am worried about is my mom freaking out about financing my trip and not having a backup plan to support my own.  This is why I want to bring up things pertaining to the trip so that she has an idea that I am actually making an effort to make my own plans.  And confidence in me that I know what I am doing.  Maybe this week would be a good time to make some kind of mock travel itinerary.  But it is really discouraging to me to make plans so far in advance when I know that what I really want to do is just schedule my plans a just a few steps ahead of me.  In actuality, I really do need to make arrangements for these next 3 months.  However, I really would like my mother's approval for it.  I think part of the issue is that I actually am afraid of not having enough money on the trip.  My budget as it is, is ridiculously tight.  But I really think that I can make it under budget. . . if I stick to the helpx plan.  Maybe planning out a more specific budget actually will help me more than I think it will stress me out?

Another thing is my plans for these next 2 months. I hate that part of my plan is completely up in the air now because I don't know about my parents' plans just yet.  I mean, it's understandable for me to be worried, and to have a backup plan of my own.  I should really ask my mom about the mileage.  This could help get a conversation brewing and potentially ease my mind a bit.  And help break the news in a bit.  I need my family to know about this, because it is huge news! And it will help get her off my back about finding a stable, permanent job here.

I've also been toying with the idea of getting an ESL teaching license since it usually only takes a month.  But it would also be really nice to have a temporary job in the meantime.  I hate waiting around in the house doing nothing but cleaning.  Especially now that I've gotten some kind of routine going, I think that having a job right now could help me more than hurt me, as it did before with my routine.  Now that I have goals, it would be nice to make money on the side.  Maybe I can apply to IHOP or some local restaurant and make some extra bucks.  Or tutor someone.  I should put an ad up on craigslist.

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I just read my past posts and realized that I haven't posted in a while.  I have pictures to add as well! I think I'll create another post for that since this one was primarily a rant.