Yesterday Pics and Morning Routine

So I wanted to change up my regular yoga routine today and I came across this nice yoga warm up video.  It's really invigorating, especially right after waking.  It would make a nice warm up to any routine. I've been practicing yoga on and off for several years and the routine tested my limits.  It could also be that I'm a bit rusty.

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Pictures

Green's my favorite color.  

It's the end of October, but sometimes autumn can feel like spring.  All the leaves on the trees are a lively green.  Crunchy brown leaves carpet the trail floor.

Fried camote with poorly caramelized sugar.

Family of deer I encountered early on my night walk.  This sight made me paranoid for the rest of the time I was out.  

Pre-travel Trauma?

I am so stressseddddd!!!!!! I need to vent!!!!!

I think the main thing that I am worried about is my mom freaking out about financing my trip and not having a backup plan to support my own.  This is why I want to bring up things pertaining to the trip so that she has an idea that I am actually making an effort to make my own plans.  And confidence in me that I know what I am doing.  Maybe this week would be a good time to make some kind of mock travel itinerary.  But it is really discouraging to me to make plans so far in advance when I know that what I really want to do is just schedule my plans a just a few steps ahead of me.  In actuality, I really do need to make arrangements for these next 3 months.  However, I really would like my mother's approval for it.  I think part of the issue is that I actually am afraid of not having enough money on the trip.  My budget as it is, is ridiculously tight.  But I really think that I can make it under budget. . . if I stick to the helpx plan.  Maybe planning out a more specific budget actually will help me more than I think it will stress me out?

Another thing is my plans for these next 2 months. I hate that part of my plan is completely up in the air now because I don't know about my parents' plans just yet.  I mean, it's understandable for me to be worried, and to have a backup plan of my own.  I should really ask my mom about the mileage.  This could help get a conversation brewing and potentially ease my mind a bit.  And help break the news in a bit.  I need my family to know about this, because it is huge news! And it will help get her off my back about finding a stable, permanent job here.

I've also been toying with the idea of getting an ESL teaching license since it usually only takes a month.  But it would also be really nice to have a temporary job in the meantime.  I hate waiting around in the house doing nothing but cleaning.  Especially now that I've gotten some kind of routine going, I think that having a job right now could help me more than hurt me, as it did before with my routine.  Now that I have goals, it would be nice to make money on the side.  Maybe I can apply to IHOP or some local restaurant and make some extra bucks.  Or tutor someone.  I should put an ad up on craigslist.

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I just read my past posts and realized that I haven't posted in a while.  I have pictures to add as well! I think I'll create another post for that since this one was primarily a rant.

Yesterday. Attic Cat and Tao of Pooh.

I've gotta make this quick.  We'll be leaving at 2 to drop off the oldies at the airport.  I finished watching attic cat yesterday and I was crying for joy, sadness, and empathy.  I loved the way they ended the series and could not have asked for a better conclusion.  It wasn't too dramatic, declarative, and tied up loose ends in a way that you could imagine the future lives of Jung-eun and Kyung-min.    I love that couple so much!  I'm listening to the soundtrack now, which took several searches to locate a continuous stream.

I haven't been able to research for my trip these past two days.  But I have been able to keep up with yoga, walking and hanging out with my family.  I need to sleep less and watch less television.  Television probably, more so than sleeping.

I came across a nice quote I found from The Tao of Pooh that I could relate to.

"That doesn't mean that the goals we have don't count.  They do, mostly because they cause s to go through the process, and it's the process that makes us wise, happy, or whatever.  If we do things in the wrong sort of way, it makes us miserable, angry, confused, and things like that.  The goal has to be right for us, and it has to be beneficial, in order to ensure a beneficial process.  But aside from that, it's really the process that's important.  Enjoyment of the process is the secret that erases the myths of the Great Reward and Saving Time.  Perhaps this can help explain the everyday significance of the word Tao, the Way" (Hoff 111-12).

(I think this is the right way to cite literary works.)

More views of nature changing colors.

(Pink and green are one of my favorite color combinations.)

This is actually Day 19 but it feels like Day 1.

While my goal today was to get to sleep by 1, I don't see that happening anytime soon.   I wanted to write here in order to record my daily accomplishments.  I realize that I do that already through a physical journal, but I've been wanting to pick up this blog again so that I can use it as an outlet later on once I have something worthwhile to write about.   I also have a lot of goals I've set for myself, and this may be the best way to record everything in a more organized manner?   I really want to use this site to express myself through other mediums - photography, movies, storytelling for an audience, website formatting.  I'm just afraid of spreading myself too thin.

I hope that I can come up with some kind of format for this site that will work well with my life.  And that will have a positive impact on yours.

I like to watch the leaves change on my daily walks.

A particularly bright patch of orange leaves

Day 19 refers to the number of days it's been since I started being productive again.  I was in an incapacitated state for about 3 weeks after I quit my job and retreated from the outside world.  I still haven't seen or spoken to my friends since September 14.  I guess it hasn't been that long, but it has felt like several months.

I want to watch this!

Cinemalaya Films

Sampaguita, National Flower

Screenplay & Direction: Francis Xavier Pasion

Actually, now that I read more about Pasion, I think this movie seems to better hold my interest:

Jay

Found out about the first video through this blog.  

Anime and Books

So I wanted to blog because I've been feeling depressed lately. Blogging helps me feel like I'm somewhat connected to society.

I just finished watching this anime episode about a novice murder mystery video.  I really like the anime because it's mostly talking and not a lot of slapstick and drama.  Also the color scheme they use and the different scenes depicted are really calming and easy on the eyes.

Hyouka Episode 10

Aside from that, I also finished this book yesterday.  

Fury, True Tales of a Good Girl Gone Balllistic by Koren Zailckas

It helped me to reframe my own situation by relating to the way she learns how to reframe her own.  Zailckas expresses and analyzes feelings I have but never address or ever say to anyone.  She makes a lot of references (which she then lists at the back of her book) which are relevant and probably worth reading through as well.


A few good quotes. Some funny others very insightful.

"'The problem is 'out there' and anger is the build-up of energy needed to solve it'"

"I needed to change the way I related to [my parents] and other people.  In reclaiming my anger I could reclaim my life and my humanity"

"Quarels in France strengthen a love affair, in America they end it"

"'the most powerful part of the process happens when the person exploring her family tree "gives a deep unconscious 'yes' to her roots.'  'In doing this, the Explorer becomes full...The Explorer completes the self.  By saying yes to one's root system, rather than denying or opposing, increases self-esteem...This involves a dramatic shift in one's self-identity"

The last quote I found particularly important because it addresses one of the 3 goals I've listed for myself.  To improve my self-esteem and sense of self worth.  

There were so many other quotes in this book that I found really interesting, inspiring and relevant to my life. I guess I could try and post them all.. So that I could have a list I could just refer to for future reference.

Oh yes, also today I biked for the first time in a long while! Congratulations to me.  The weather today was delightful. I wrote a ton in my journal today as well.  I guess it's a writing kind of day.

This sounds good and looks good... I'll have to see if it tastes good...

Lemon Ricotta Pancakes!!!

This looks really good.. although quite a hassle to make.  The guy even uses whole wheat flour! I've never even noticed that in the store before...

I wanna try making this though, or some version of it, when I'm back at home!!